How I Got Past Fear and Started to Write a Book

How I Got Past Fear and Started to Write a Book

Do you have any projects in the closet waiting to be born?

I have set out to write a book that I have been wanting to write for a few years. And, I am running into a lot of fear and diversionary tactics. Sound familiar?

Here’s what I’m doing to get myself started (and keep going!). I hope you may find it helpful in jump-starting your own scary, wonderful, creative projects.

First, a little background.

My New Book Project

My new book is based on my years of teaching. It is to be a book about how to ignite and sustain the fires of a creative life, what you need to know, be and do in order to thrive as an artist.

I don’t mean thrive financially, because I don’t know diddly about that. I mean thrive internally, have a joyful, inspired, sustainable, healthy creative life, which I know a great deal about.

This book will debunk the lies, myths and mistaken approaches we are taught about artists and creativity, and replaces them with powerful truths that work. It comes from my own hard-won experiences as a creative person, from my struggles, painful crashes, lost chances and also my healing, successes and growth.

I aim to share my story and my discoveries, my knowledge and wisdom, and also inspiration and encouragement. I aim to share practical, vital tools and perspectives, as well as a kind of magical potion for those who are called to the creative life.

But where and how do I begin? Ack!

The First Hurdle: Which Project Do I Choose?

When I finally finished the umpteenth edit of my manuscript of poems last Autumn, I kept waffling about which book to write next.

I wanted to dive into a new collection of poems. And I want to write an inspiring primer on writing poetry. I also have a neglected novel I cannot face.

But this Creative Sparks book has been knocking at my door, and I have had a few encouraging signs that it is the one to start now.

I pay attention to signs in my creative life. I recommend that you do too.

We are not alone in the creative projects that are ours to birth. They come through us. And they bring with them all manner of support and guidance, if we pay attention.

I’ve been terrified to start this book. I feel overwhelmed by the project, totally unsure how to do it, inadequate to the undertaking.

Fear is one sign you are on the right track. That kind of fear often signals that we are onto something big and meaningful for us.

Choose the project you are most scared to begin.

Step Two: Research and Planning

Next, I began by researching.

I am re-reading and analyzing the structure of several classics in the creativity world. If you want to know some of what I think are classic creativity guides, read my post: Five Fantastic Books to Foster Your Creativity.

Each of the books I admire in this arena are completely different, completely one-of-a-kind, in structure, form, style, approach. That is encouraging and scary too.

I have been binge-reading posts on The Story Grid, particularly on “Big Idea” non-fiction, which may be the genre of this book. I’ve been making notes about the “obligatory scenes and conventions” of both Big Idea non-fiction and How To. And then making notes about how I might fulfill those.

I have been writing the answers to a host of questions about my book to help me understand it better.

I have made multiple possible outlines.

In other words, I have been stalling.

The Hardest Part: Time To Dive In

All of this research and thinking and structuring and note-taking has been helpful and important, especially for a non-fiction book. I continue to do it.

But at the same time, I saw that I was terrified to begin. I had no idea how to begin or what voice to write this book in, or what it really should be, even after all this note-taking and thinking.

The only antidote to this kind of fear and stalling is to dive in. No more excuses. No more wading in the shallow end.

Once I saw these diversionary tactics for what they were, I made myself start writing.

Set Clear, Do-Able Goals

I set myself a firm goal, a task: 500 words a day or more on my four writing days. For me, this is a very do-able goal.

Do-able goals are a good way to get started. We can wrap our brains around them a whole lot better than trying to write a whole book.

Because I am a fluid writer, it doesn’t usually take me long to write 500 words. I sit down and just begin anywhere. That might be where I left off the day before or somewhere unrelated. Usually I go for a lot longer than 500 words.

Create a (Very) Rough Draft

My job right now is to get the pen moving, get past the paralyzing fear and indecision, get into the water. My job is to generate a “shitty first draft,” as Anne Lamott calls it in her brilliant book on writing, Bird by Bird.

The voice is all over the place. The subject matter is all over the place. Some of the writing is good. Some is not. It doesn’t matter.

This is a rough draft. I need to have words on the page in order to have something to work with, to have any idea what this book actually wants to be.

The book will show me the way, but only once I am well in it.

So, I write.

And I keep gathering inspiration, ideas, reading other books, making notes.

So far, I am still uncertain and nervous.

But I am also immensely relieved to be actually writing. I always feel better when I am writing than not writing, creating than not creating. This is the unswerving law of my being, my inner directive, as the I Ching calls it. So I write.

What project have you been putting off, that you are truly scared to begin?

What mentorship, support, guidance or clear goals do you need to begin?

When will you start?


I am sharing my artistic process and journey on Patreon. If you want more posts like this, please join me on Patreon.

A Return to Heart

A Return to Heart

Fires, floods, earthquakes, violence, intolerance, divisiveness, greed. It’s easy to see our world is in upheaval. These are intense, challenging times.

We are being called to return to heart.

As a human race, we have been living in severe imbalance for so long that the re-balancing is requiring some radical and painful shifts in our world.

We cannot continue living as we have been—ignoring and dishonoring the livingness of our world, disrespecting and doing violence to the creatures, the waters, the earth, the air, to women and children and people of color, people of all kinds.

We cannot continue to promote the values, the way of life, the beliefs that have brought us to this crisis. We cannot cling to our possessions, our security, our fear, our cynicism, our isolation.

All of Life is Alive

Autumn scene

by Aaron Burden

All of life is calling to us. The wind is alive. The trees are alive. The rocks are alive. The clouds are alive. All of life wishes to be in deep, sacred relationship with us. In holy communion. In partnership. As it was always meant to be.

The original peoples of all cultures were given instructions in how to live in right relationship on the lands and waters where they dwelled. Rituals, ceremonies, prayers, practices, offerings, recognition of the cycles of life. These kept the peoples living in harmony and balance with the world around them. These kept the people in balance within themselves.

When they forgot these life-giving ways, either temporarily or later completely, trouble occurred. Not as a punishment, but as a reminder of the natural order of life, as a call to return.

Life has an order that is inherently good and whole and workable. When we move with it, our lives tend to flow well. We find acceptance and peace, even in challenges. We find true joy.

We Must Live From Our Hearts

Nothing is more important than that we live from our hearts now.

We need to quiet our incessant minds, our clamoring egos, our false sense of separateness from others. We need to tune into the still, small voice within.

Meditating person

Photo by Dingzeyu Li

We need to learn to calm the voice of fear, the addictive habit of fear, that has been built up in us by our contemporary culture and listen instead to the voice of heart, of love, of peace. We all carry this voice. All of life carries this voice. The ocean carries this voice. The flowers do. The animals do.

Sacrifice and Surrender Will Lead to Joy

This is going to ask a lot of us. We will have to sacrifice cherished comforts, ways of tuning out and disconnecting, our sense of superiority, and much that is familiar or once felt secure.

We may have to leave the 9-to-5 job and follow our passion for art. Or take a steady job in order to support our art. We may have to downsize and band together. We may have to reach out and ask for help, instead of trying to go it alone.

We will not be able to rely on how things worked for us before. We will not be able to hide out and play small. It simply won’t work. We will meet with more chaos, disruption and suffering. Until we relent.

Now, we are asked to step beyond our wounded selves, our limited desires and preferences. To step into our extraordinary gifts, cultivate our capacities, and shine in our full Beingness.

Nothing less will do.

If you have a calling in your heart that you’ve been ignoring or neglecting, a calling that comes from love, it is time to follow it. If you have a longing to reach beyond the pain that has held you captive, it is time to heal it. If you have been ignoring the livingness of the world around you, it is time to get into right relationship with it.

Life is calling. Let us join together and answer the call.

To your Beingness,

Maxima

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