This is part I in a series on Making a Living as an Artist. In which I explore what it means to be an artist-entrepreneur and what my own stumbling blocks are with that.
Read more
You Can’t Always Get What You Want, But. . .
Following your dreams is something you are called to do. Each of us is called to follow our heart’s dreams.
Yet following your dreams is often approached in a totally wrong-headed way. A way that produces a great deal of suffering.
Your dreams are here to lead you on your heart path. Each of us must walk that path if we wish to live our fullest, richest, most fulfilled lives.
We are encoded with these dreams to such a degree that we cannot be truly joyful, if we refuse to follow them. That would be like an acorn trying to be something other than an oak.
Yet, following your dreams is not about getting everything you want.
Despite what so many “manifestation” teachers try to tell you. Trying to get everything you want is just grasping. It leads to immense suffering, as the Buddha taught.
Following your dreams is not about trying to be the “perfect” you or live a “perfect” life. It’s not about trying to fill up a deep sense of inadequacy or lack that can never be filled. Because those are lies.
You are already whole. You are enough and you have enough.
Yet there are things your soul longs to be and do, to express and experience. And these lead you on your heart path to make your contribution to our world.
Give Up the Dream of Control
Following your dreams is not about “manifesting” your desires in the sense of controlling your world.
The acorn gets no assurances of the future of the oak tree, how big it gets to grow, whether a storm will split it in two, whether anyone will ever see it.
Walking the path of your dreams does not mean you will get the girl or boy, the big house or fancy car, or even the book deal or art show—although you may get all those things and more.
This is the shocking truth many new age teachings don’t admit:
There is no guarantee of actually realizing the dream as you first imagined it.
There is no promise of success, abundance or safety.
But the surprise we discover on the path of dreams is: That’s not what it’s all about. There is something better.
Your Dreams Lead to Your Greatness
Your path of dreams is your heart path. It is about following your soul’s callings, giving what you uniquely have to give, playing your part in the whole.
Following your dreams is about growing into the fullness of who you are and can be.
Your path of dreams will ask you to shed the false beliefs and wounded self, to face your fears and shuck your laziness, all your clever subterfuge.
Your path of dreams is here to lead you to your greatest self.
It is here to challenge you and push you to grow, to heal and to shine. You cannot hide out on this path or play it safe or keep everything easy and comfortable.
Much Will Be Required of You
Your true heart’s dreams will ask everything of you.
Our true dreams require tremendous courage, devotion, care and persistence. They require inner strength, love, creativity and willingness to partner with others of like mind, to find your place.
They require your willingness to partner also with a field of Life greater than your small self, to recognize the limitations of the small self, the false self, and to live from something far deeper and more magnificent.
Many new-age teachings promise that you can get everything you want. They encourage you to feed your fear-based ego desires for money, possessions, prestige and, most of all, control.
But that is not the path to freedom and joy.
The path to freedom and joy comes from listening to, and following, your heart’s deepest desires, those yearnings that may terrify you even to admit.
And following them not out of the promise of arrival, so much as out of a willingness to go on the adventure.
You follow your dreams out of a love for the journey, the process and all the rich gifts it brings, gifts you cannot predict at the outset. There is no arrival point. That is one of the things you discover on the path of dreams, one of the many things that will set you free when you follow your heart path.
You follow because you have to, because that is who you are at heart.
You Get What You Need
I’m not saying that you will not realize those dreams that are in your heart.
With a combination of clear vision, commitment, devotion and attentive care, along with a healthy dose of surrender and partnership with the All, you can co-create extraordinary things in your life. Things that will bring great blessings to you and our world.
When you get clear on your heart’s true desires, you are in partnership with a force of Life larger than you, a force that is supporting you in unfolding in your gifts. When you clear the path to those desires by doing your inner work and taking steps to bring them to fruition, you greatly increase your chances of actualizing your dreams.
Using the processes that I teach, I have been able to realize remarkable dreams and create a life of passion, purpose and deep play that has been astonishing in many ways.
It has also been full of challenges and hard growth. Many times it has brought me to my knees, and still does.
But the path of dreams is not about trying to control life or handing the Universe a shopping list of your small self’s desires and expecting them all to be fulfilled. It is not about safety and security from the perspective of the limited self.
Following your path of dreams is about a deep sense of fulfillment, about connecting with the joy and freedom that are your true nature, and giving the gifts that only you can give.
If you would like to learn the time-tested tools and practices I teach to walk your own heart path, and get expert help on that path, check out my Creative Life Coaching & Creativity Mentoring, and sign up for a free Discovery Session with me.
Your Breakthrough Dream Part II
In my last post, I shared with you the powerful tool of the Breakthrough Dream as a way of co-creating the life your heart desires. If you missed that post, click here to read it first. Today, we continue with part II.
In this post we explore how to discover your Breakthrough Dream, types of dreams, naming your dream clearly and committing to your dream.
How to choose a Breakthrough Dream
Your Breakthrough Dream might be a specific piece of a larger life dream that could be accomplished in a year or so. For instance, if my dream is to be a painter, I might choose to have a gallery show this year.
Or your dream may be something else that feels like it is needed in your life or is calling to you now, such as improving your health or repairing your relationship with your children.
The most important thing is that your Breakthrough Dream will inspire you, feel right, exciting or vital to you, and most likely scare you.
Any dream that is close to our hearts scares us because it matters to us deeply and it asks us to grow. If your Breakthrough Dream does not scare you at all, you may not have the right dream.
Your Breakthrough Dream should not feel heavy or burdensome like something you should do but do not want. Nor should it feel arbitrary, like you are just coming up with something. It should call to you, feel right to you, and feel like it would be wonderful to attain. If you sit with it for a week or two, it should feel clear that this is truly something you deeply desire that is calling to you at this time.
Some questions to help you find your Breakthrough Dream
1) What one single change in some area of your life would represent a leap for you, a breakthrough to a new level of being and living? What would bring you more peace, joy, fulfillment or open up new vistas for you?
2) If you could change one thing in your life that would make the biggest positive difference right now, what would it be?
3) Is there one thing you are really longing for in your life now that, when you think about it, lights you up and probably scares you? Is there something you would love to be, do or have that you are afraid to admit?
To be most easily worked towards, the Breakthrough Dream would be a SMART goal. Your Dream may not fit that criteria and that is fine too. Trust your heart on this.
A SMART goal is:
Specific—it’s clear what the Dream is and it’s singular.
Measurable—an outside person could easily tell whether or not you realized your dream
Attainable/Actionable—it’s humanly possible for you, even if it’s a big stretch and you don’t know how. The A could also stand for Actionable—it’s possible for you to take action toward it.
Relevant—It matters to you, it’s meaningful.
Time-based—You’ve put a time marker on when you’d like to see the Dream accomplished, understanding that life may show up differently.
Some examples of Breakthrough Dreams might be:
- build a cabin
- write a draft of a book
- become vibrantly healthy
- meet my soulmate
- have a solo art show
- go on a 3-month trip to Bali
- learn to sing
- explore my creativity
- start my own business
- get out of debt
- discover a career I would love
- uncover my joy
Beingness dreams and Doingness dreams
Your dream might be a dream that involves doing, such as writing a book or starting a business or going to graduate school, or it might be more of a Beingness dream, such as deepening your connection to Spirit or discovering your true gifts.
Both kinds of dreams are wonderful. It can be harder to find action steps toward a Beingness dream and be clear about how you know if you have reached it, but these can still be excellent Breakthrough Dreams. If you choose a Beingness dream, you will simply need to define some consistent steps you can take toward it, ways to keep it alive in your daily life and cultivate it, and some measures of success or progress for yourself.
You don’t need to know the how
Many great dreams get stopped in their tracks because the dreamer said, “but I don’t know how.” If Martin Luther King, Jr. had said that, we would not have his amazing “I Have a Dream” speech, nor, more importantly, would we have all of the radical actions he took to fulfill that dream.
You do not need to know the how of your dream. You only need to know the what, what your dream is. The dream will show you the how as you declare it and begin to take steps toward it.
Please do not limit yourself to dreams you feel you know you can have—safe, small dreams that neither scare you nor light you up. Do not limit yourself to dreams you are sure are within your power. Notice that Martin Luther King, Jr.’s dream relies on many people coming together.
Dare to dream big, but dream from the heart and soul, not from your head, not from your hungry ego, not from what the culture-at-large claims success looks like.
Wording the Dream
Come up with a simple statement of the dream that is worded in the present tense, as if you are already living the dream, that includes you in the dream, and that uses emotionally evocative language.
Also, keep the dream focused on one thing. Do not try to cram several dreams into one dream. This sends confused messages to your subconscious and generally yields less potent results.
Here’s an example of one of mine: “I am holding my beautiful published book of poems in my hand. Fierce Aria has been lovingly shepherded into the world by a wonderful press.”
I chose this dream in 2018 as my Breakthrough Dream. My book was accepted by a press in May of 2019. Although I chose a new Breakthrough Dream for 2019 because I felt it was time to choose a Beingness dream, I continued to work on this dream as well. And I am still working on it, as now there is much to do to promote the book. In fact, I might choose bringing the book into the hands of readers as my Breakthrough Dream next year.
Committing to the Dream
Once you have chosen a dream, it is time to commit to it wholeheartedly. Declare your dream to yourself and the universe. Create a ritual of planting your dream seed.
Now the challenge is to keep it in your consciousness and stay in consistent action toward it throughout the year. As I have written elsewhere, it is not enough to get clear on the dream, name it clearly and commit to it, we have to also be in motion toward it. This is our offering to the Universe, which then responds in kind with support, synchronicities, guidance, necessary challenges and blessings. Read my post The Dangers of Wishful Thinking: Nothing Changes If We Don’t Take Action here.
This is where hiring a life coach can be enormously helpful. So that you have the structures, support, skills and accountability that any big dream needs to thrive.
If you are interested in learning more about how working with me as a Creative Life Coach can help you walk your unique heart path, realize your dreams and experience profound breakthroughs in your life, click here to schedule a complimentary Discovery Session with me, and we will explore together.
The Breakthrough Dream
The Breakthrough Dream: A Radical Tool To Create the Life Your Heart Desires
In my Creative Life Coaching and in my Living Your Dreams class, I share a potent tool that brings profound focus, momentum and satisfaction to creating your heart’s desires.
That tool is called the Breakthrough Dream.
The Breakthrough Dream is a dream that, if achieved, would be a real breakthrough for you.
At the start of each year I choose a Breakthrough Dream as a focus for the year ahead. I like to choose a dream (desire/goal) that could be accomplished in a year’s time or in a few years at most.
Discovering this tool has led me to co-create dreams that I have deeply longed for and that have brought incredible joy and richness to my life, dreams such as finding and marrying my beloved and getting my book of poems published.
This act of choosing one, and only one, Breakthrough Dream and naming it clearly is radical and powerful in itself. And, for most people, it is quite challenging.
Choosing the Breakthrough Dream does not mean that you give up all other dreams, desires or goals for the year. But it does mean that you choose one primary dream as the core of your focus this year. It requires you to get clear about what is truly in priority for you.
Why do this?
The Power of Focus
Choosing a primary focus for the year and committing to it wholeheartedly aligns our energies. It sends a clear message to the universe.
We are far more likely to invite positive results, when our intention and actions are clear and aligned. Whereas, when we disperse our energies in too many different directions or do not make any choice at all, we are likely to invite mixed results that may not be at all what our heart desires.
Think of it this way. If I go to the coffeeshop and say to the barista, “I’d like some kind of beverage,” I’m either going to get whatever is easiest for the barista to give me, or more likely, I will get nothing, because she does not know what I really want. It works the same with our heart’s desires.
One of the reasons many of us do not have more success co-creating our dreams is because we are so scattered. We refuse (or are afraid) to choose, to narrow our focus, to get clear, and simultaneously we neglect to fully commit to a dream.
Many of us are afraid to commit to a dream for fear of being disappointed or failing or choosing wrong. But that fear keeps us engaging in half-measures and flitting from dream to dream, goal to goal, project to project without ever enjoying the passion and fulfillment of deep engagement and of actually reaching our dreams.
When we choose a Breakthrough Dream, we get our whole self on board. I have found that this level of clarity opens up all kinds of energy and momentum, not only for that dream, but all over my life.
What if it doesn’t come true?
Life is full of surprises and shows up in unexpected ways. But the path of your dreams is not just about fulfilling them. It is about growing into the fullness of who you are.
Your chances of reaping the harvest of your dreams is far greater if you clearly choose and commit to a dream than if you do not. Either way, you will learn and grow a great deal.
Sometimes in the process, you may decide you no longer want the dream. You may discover you were pursuing it out of some motive that does not come from your heart or soul, such as a need to prove yourself to your parents.
In the process of letting it go, you find freedom and a clearer connection to what does matter to you. Or sometimes on the road to your dream, Life shows you a different path. That too is success.
What if I choose the wrong dream?
Moving towards the dreams of your heart and soul is ultimately about growing into the fullness of who you are and sharing your gifts with the world.
This kind of dreaming is about experiencing the innate freedom, wholeness and joy that you are, and transforming what comes in the way of that.
So, when I teach, we practice tuning into our hearts and souls, listening deeply to the still small voice within that is guiding us. And I help you hear what that voice is saying, to name a Breakthrough Dream that has real aliveness and meaning for you.
As you move toward your Breakthrough Dream with clarity, commitment and consistent action, you may find that you no longer want the dream. If you are truly losing interest in it, rather than simply getting scared or losing faith in yourself, then it is time to consciously release the dream and choose a new one. Nothing wrong with that. You have freed yourself of that dream and now have more space within to create what is truly aligned with your heart.
If you feel relief and happiness in letting the dream go, and joy in choosing another, go for it!
But if you find yourself wanting to change your Breakthrough Dream every month, then you need some support in finding what is really in your heart and in releasing the inner blocks that keep you from following it.
What about my other dreams?
When you choose a Breakthrough Dream, you are not abandoning any other dreams, desires or goals. You are simply creating priority and focus. In my experience, priority is a key not only to achieving our dreams, but to living a sane, balanced, joyful life.
We cannot do everything at once. We only have so much time, energy and resources. So we have to make choices. To live a beautiful life, I recommend making choices that come from your heart and soul.
You can work towards multiple dreams, goals and desires in a year. I certainly do. The Breakthrough Dream simply asks you to choose your #1 focus out of those, the one that will give you the most at this time or is the most vital, alive, exciting or important to you now.
In committing to the Breakthrough Dream, I find that I get so much more clear about my priorities throughout my life. I am less likely to over-extend myself. I also find that other dreams, desires and goals gain momentum and have an often magical way of coming to fruition.
In my next post, I’ll share with you how to choose a Breakthrough Dream, the different types of dreams, and how to support the dream coming to life. Stay tuned!
If you are starting out on the path of dreams, seeking your passion, joy and unique gifts, or have come to a crossroads and are wondering what your next step is, there are few better gifts you could give yourself than to sign up for The Artist’s Way. I’m leading a new group in Nevada City.
If you don’t live in the area or are ready for deeper support for your dreams, discover how investing in Creative Life Coaching could change your life.
Dreaming Your Year: A Recipe for Soulful Living
At the start of each year, I speak about tuning into the dreaming of the year ahead, dreaming your year from heart and soul.
Why?
So that you can co-create an inspired, soulful, enriching trip around the sun. Not just blown about by the winds of habit and happenstance. But guided by deep vision, inspiration and heart.
It’s Never Too Late
I want you to know it’s not too late to do this. I often take all of January to complete this dreaming step-by-step.
A friend recently said to me, “But then you lose a whole month of the year!” That’s the old paradigm, in which time is scarce, and we have to rush and push to our goals. Where nothing is ever enough and we’re always behind. That’s not how I want to live.
Dreaming your year is a priceless process of listening to your own heart and to the heartsong of the world. Like anything worthwhile, that doesn’t want to be rushed.
Also, you can do it anytime. You could do it in July for the year ahead that starts from there.
But…
How Do You Dream Your Year?
Tuning into the dreaming of the year: What does that look like, feel like?
Start by dropping the shoulds, have-tos, anxieties, dropping the constant craving demands of the small self, to open a vast space within.
by Steve Richey
Open to the fertile void, the womb of creation from which all life comes. The dark soil of earth which harbors already the seeds of new life waiting to push forth into the light and grow and blossom and bear fruit.
Get quiet and allow yourself to rest in the gap between the end of the old and the start of the new. Drop into that spacious dark in which the soul can fly free.
Listen patiently for the still small voice within. Not rushing to answers. Not trying to figure it out with the mind. Not trying to fill the void or control the process.
Listening, waiting, opening, feeling, resting, trusting, quiet, receptive.
Ask for vision. Put forth a prayer, an invitation for your heart and soul to speak, for Life itself to speak to you and call you forth. Express your willingness to be of service to something larger and wilder than your small self.
Ask for vision, open to receive.
Then, attend to any sensations, images, words, emotions, impressions that come. Take notes. You may also wish to dance or draw this vision.
Some Fertile Questions
- What are the seeds of this coming year that are already planted in me?
What is Life dreaming that desires to be born through me? - How do I most wish to feel?
- What do I desire to embody? How do I want to show up in my life?
- What is calling to my heart and soul? What needs or yearnings are calling to be filled?
- What would bring me the most delight, joy? What would inspire me most?
- What practices, passions, activities, adventures are calling to me?
Listen to the Deeper Currents
by Nicholas Han
Tune into the deeper currents moving you. Listen to these more than to your fears, doubts, your sense of lack.
You’ll find your life begins to flow in beautiful, extraordinary ways. Support and miracles will appear. Not that there won’t also be challenges. These are part of the path of our heart.
This dreaming through you is the Tao, the way of life. When we align ourselves with the Tao, we feel a sense of flow. When we resist or ignore the Tao, we struggle, hit obstacles, often get sick or depressed.
Let yourself dream without rushing to any concern about the how of those dreams. (That will kill a dream that is trying to be born.) Simply let yourself envision the what, however it wants to come to you now, even if you have no idea how it could possibly come about.
Zooming In and Focusing
♥ Is there a word or theme of the year that beckons to you?
Rather than choosing from what your mind wants or thinks sounds good, be patient and let your word or theme arrive in its own time from your soul. This might take days or weeks.
Write your word or theme on an index card and post it where you will see it.
♥ Is there a Breakthrough Dream you want to name for this coming year?
A Breakthrough Dream is something that, if you focus on, complete or realize it this year, would make the biggest positive difference in your life. It is the one that most calls to you now, even if it also brings fear or doubt. (Fear and doubt are often a good sign. Just set these aside for now, if they arise, so that you can freely dream.)
Write your Breakthrough Dream on an index card too.
Put It Into Existence
Once you’ve allowed the vision of the year to come to you, it’s time to do some gentle mapping of the how, to put it into existence in time.
Name some steps you will take to support your dreams. Put some milestones in your year and/or schedule things in your calendar that are important to you.
Divide big dreams and desires into small steps and put them in time. Be willing to try things, to risk.
Be sure your dreams and desires are aligned with what matters most to you, what you most care about, what brings you joy. Because the “small stuff” fades. Life is not an endless self-improvement project, but a treasure to be lived fully and beautifully.
To read more of my posts about creating your year from inspired, heart-centered vision, check out: https://brilliantplayground.com/harvesting-and-dreaming/
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How to Access the Power of Love to Realize Your Dreams
In this post, I share with you how to access the deepest power in the universe, the power of love, so that you can draw upon this limitless power to help you realize your dreams.
This is the fourth post in a series on Enthusiasm vs. Willpower in reaching your heart’s dreams. If you missed the last post, you can read it here. In it, I offered you a radical invitation to help you connect to heart, passion, delight and fulfillment in your life. I also introduced you to the Inner Taskmaster and the Rebel, both of whom can sabotage your dreams.
In discussing the Taskmaster in my last post, I talked about the unhealthy kind of willpower and how it really doesn’t help us reach what we long for in our lives. Today, we begin with a healthy kind of inner power.
Accessing the Power of the Mother Bear
photo by matthias-goetzke on unsplash
The second kind of willpower is that of the mother saving her child. This will is unstoppable. We all know better than to get between a mother bear protecting her cubs, because no force is stronger than that love.
This is the kind of will we want to access on the path to living our heart’s dreams: Our powerful, passionate, unstoppable love for what we long to be, do and have, our fierce commitment to it.
This is a force that can move mountains, including the mountains of our own fear, doubt and resistance.
Connect to Your Deep Why
So, how do you access that kind of will?
You dive down to the core of your love and longing for your dream, the heart of your passion for it. You become deeply connected to what that dream gives you, what it will give you, what you love and enjoy about it, what it can give to others, how it connects to values that you hold dear.
You get very clear on what I call the Deep Why of the dream. How does it serve you, others, our world?
Then, you keep reconnecting to that why, that love and vision, as long as they remain true for you. You keep recommitting to your dream from that place of love.
Call up your fierce, powerful love for your art, your dreams, for the power of art itself and what it gives our world, how it changes lives. Let that be the source of your willpower to act day after day in a manner congruent with your dreams.
A Little Will and a Lot of Love
photo by craig whitehead on unsplash
So, yes, a little will is involved. It can serve you well on the path of dreams, when used properly. You may have to draw on 30 seconds of willpower every single day to get yourself into your studio and begin creating.
But deeper than will for me is the love of creating, the passion for art. Being clear in knowing what creating gives to my life and knowing what is lacking without it. And having a strong, inspiring vision of where I am headed in my life.
Vision, love, joy—these are unbelievably powerful on the path of dreams.
If you are not feeling them for your dreams, you may have the wrong dream. Or you may need help clearing past hurts, fears and doubts that keep your passion and enthusiasm at bay. If you lack inspired vision for your life, you may need some expert help uncovering it and uncovering what keeps you from it. (Check out my creative life coaching here.)
Please cultivate a little will too, your core of inner strength, that mother bear love, and persistence.
Cultivate commitment, that shining bridge. (If you missed the post on the shining bridge of commitment, you can read it here.)
But, commit only to that which you truly love, desire and value, that which inspires you and lights you up. No shoulds here. When you waver or forget or lose your way, simply recommit if the dream is still alive for you.
Dream big, but set yourself small, reachable goals toward your heart’s big dreams. (See my post on The Power of Small Bites).
Commit to those goals. Succeed at them.
In this way, you can move mountains and realize your great dreams—for yourself and for our world.
The Deeper Power Behind Everything
Love is the deeper power behind both enthusiasm and willpower. Behind willpower is devotion, which is love. Behind enthusiasm is passion, which is love.
Notice how everything comes from Love. Love is the deepest power on earth. Nothing is stronger or greater than this.
Loving what you do, being passionate about it, being lit up by it, being engaged with and curious about it. Taking joy and delight in it. These are so essential. If they are persistently lacking, I would strongly suggest you choose a new dream.
Give Yourself to Love
photo by eye for ebony on unsplash
If you can consistently return to love and draw on love to power your art and your dreams, nothing can stop you.
The realization of your dreams may not look how you first imagined, but what you arrive at will amaze you.
Your life will be immeasurably enriched by walking the path of Love. And so will the lives of everyone you meet, as well as many others you never meet.
Far greater than will, greater than enthusiasm, greater than discipline, commitment or passion, greater than inspiration is love.
Love will carry the day. Love will see you through.
So, draw on it. Call on it. Connect with it. Express it.
Dare to love in all you do. Find what you most love and do it, be it, give it, live it.
To your powerful love,
Maxima
P.S. One act of love you can take now is to share this post with someone who might benefit. You can use the share buttons below.
Do Exactly (and Only) What You Want
In this post, I give you radical permission to do what you want! How will that help you reach your big life dreams? Read on!
I share with you about the Inner Taskmaster and the Inner Rebel and how they both sabotage your dreams. I start the conversation about two different kinds of willpower and which one will help you.
And best of all, I give you a radical, delicious assignment that will help you live guided by heart, so that you can create a gorgeous, joyful, soulful, fulfilling life.
This is the third in a series of posts on Enthusiasm vs. Willpower as we walk our heart path toward our dreams. To read the second post called The Shining Bridge to Reach Your Dreams, click here. To read the first post called Enthusiasm vs. Willpower: Surprising New Discoveries, click here.
Ok, let’s dive in!
Two Kinds of Will
There are two kinds of will, and they are very different. They come from different places within us and have vastly different effects on us and our lives.
The first kind of will is the taskmaster or drill sergeant.
Most of us have an internalized drill sergeant or taskmaster. This part of you is not your friend or ally. Many people think they need the taskmaster to get things done, stay healthy, exercise, eat right, write their book, accomplish anything meaningful. This is the first place they turn to within when trying to get themselves to do something. And it’s a mistake.
Many people rely on this inner taskmaster, and at the same time fight against it, their whole lives, falling on and off the wagon of whatever program they have set for themselves. And feeling terrible about it.
“If only I could be more disciplined,” they believe. And so, they renew their efforts yet again, and fail again, lowering their opinion of themselves once more, as well as their hope for the future.
They continue this cycle, despite the fact that it is not working, because it is all they know to do.
When I work with people on unleashing their creativity and living their heart’s dreams, I often have to begin by helping them send the inner taskmaster on a one-way ticket to the Bahamas.
The Taskmaster and the Rebel
The taskmaster always conjures our inner rebel. No one likes to be pushed around. When pushed, we push back.
photo by Andre Hunter
So, the rebel comes to our defense when the taskmaster is ordering us around.
The rebel does not want to do anything the taskmaster says and will sabotage its efforts, making us do the opposite, wake up later than we intended, stay up too late watching movies, get on the internet when we intended to be painting. . .
If you understand that the rebel always accompanies the taskmaster, you will understand and have more compassion for your own cycles of hard work and conscientious effort toward your dreams and goals and then goofing off, letting every distraction and passing pleasure come in the way of those dreams and goals.
What If You Only Do What You Want?
I often give my students the radical assignment to do only what they feel like doing for three weeks (or much longer!)—no shoulds or have to’s, no self-betterment programs, routines or healthy habits, unless they truly want to do it. (Note: This does not include if you have a job you need to go to or kids to take care of, but does include anything and everything else that you put upon yourself as a must or should.)
Try it!
This practice helps put our hearts, our love and joy, our curiosity, passion and self-kindness back in the driver’s seat. And it can lead us back to doing our creative play from genuine love, desire and enthusiasm.
Be patient with this assignment. If you have been ordering yourself around with your taskmaster for years, it may takes months of letting yourself lie on the couch and read trashy novels before an honest desire to do something else can be felt and followed. The time spent will be well worth the result.
If you are patient enough to let yourself do only what you really want, you will be surprised and amazed at how clearly your own loves, passions, desires, interests and gifts begin to show themselves. And how easy it is to do them.
How I Healed Myself
by Jake Young
I did this practice of only doing what I wanted (outside of work hours) for months after I dropped out of graduate school in music.
I was at sea in my life, having lost my clear direction and my ability to create music with love and joy. I had no idea what to do next. I was afraid if I did not keep driving myself with that fierce inner taskmaster who had gotten me to accomplish so much for so long, all I would do is lie around eating bon-bons.
Strangely, that is not what happened.
I did lie on the couch a lot, reading. And I went to a lot of art movies.
But, I was reading poetry and novels, translating poems for fun, reading the dictionary to learn new words and the etymology of words, writing in my journal, writing poems, seeing amazing films, going for long walks, going to literary events.
And still, I thought I was doing nothing, until a friend pointed out how consistently I was focused on writing, story-telling, words, art. That is what I was choosing to do. I couldn’t even see it. I thought I was just lazing around.
If You Have a Strong Inner Taskmaster
So, the first kind of willpower is the taskmaster. And it is an unhealthy and unsustainable kind of willpower that will have us cycling between striving and exhaustion, between accomplishment and disappointing ourselves. And all the time we will be being mean to ourselves.
If you are familiar with this kind of willpower, I urge you to try the experiment to do only what you truly want to do for a month.
See what it shows you about your real inclinations, desires, passions, pleasures. See what you learn about being with yourself in a wholly new way, a loving and compassionate and open-minded way. See what you learn about your own cycles of energy and how to ride those waves instead of fighting them.
If, on the other hand, you have a stronger inner rebel than taskmaster, then you may already indulge in your passing whims and surface-level desires but rarely touch something deeper or stick with anything. You flit around and change course constantly. You find it hard to stay with any program, project or routine.
If that sounds like you, you particularly need the second kind of will, which I’ll share in my next post.
We all need this second kind of will to reach our dreams. Stay tuned!
To your true heart’s desires,
Maxima
Enthusiasm vs. Willpower: Surprising New Discoveries
Maxima at age 3 playing
You have a dream to write, paint, dance, sing, build a house, start a business, travel the world. Do you use willpower to get you there, or do you rely on the energy of enthusiasm to realize your dreams?
Perhaps you think enthusiasm is shallow and limited, comes and goes, and you will have to resort to willpower. Perhaps you feel you have no willpower or it always fails you.
For years I argued for enthusiasm vs. willpower. I am coming to appreciate now that we need both, but I have made several important discoveries about this:
- The vital bridge between willpower and enthusiasm.
- The two kinds of willpower—one is a disaster and the other a boon.
- And most essential of all, the deeper power that moves worlds.
Enthusiasm Comes From the Gods
“Nothing great was every achieved without enthusiasm.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
In my work helping artists and dreamers to realize their dreams, I have maintained that willpower is a weak force, especially as compared to enthusiasm. In The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron has a compelling essay encouraging artists to draw on enthusiasm instead of discipline.
Enthusiasm (from the Greek roots for “the God within,” or as Cameron translates it, “filled with God”) is an extraordinary power that naturally inspires and motivates you in any project, activity, or life dream.
When we are filled with inspiration and passion for our art, we don’t have to force ourselves into the studio. In fact, almost nothing can keep us out of it.
When filled with enthusiasm, we are unstoppable. We are also magnetic to support from others towards our dreams because enthusiasm is contagious.
Willpower Is Weak
Willpower, on the other hand, as anyone who has attempted to overcome an addiction can tell you, is weak. When not backed up by a deeper motivation, vision and love, willpower quickly loses steam. That is because it usually comes from ego, not from heart.
Many of us fall into the trap of see-sawing between trying to enforce a military discipline on ourselves and then falling off the wagon and beating ourselves up mercilessly for it. Take note: This only ensures another repetitive cycle of the same.
This use of will is destructive, an attempt to bully ourselves into doing what we say we want to do, instead of loving ourselves into it.
Cultivating self-kindness creates a soil from which all manner of good and fruitful things can grow.
Anything built on a foundation of self-violence, rather than self-kindness, contains the seeds of its own ruin and our own ruin. So, let me be clear, this is not the kind of willpower I encourage you to use.
But, There Is a Time and Place for Will
I have recently come to appreciate that we need a little willpower, as well as enthusiasm, to reach our dreams.
Those without any willpower struggle mightily to realize their big life dreams.
The key is to be in right relationship with our will.
Otherwise, we end up in repeating cycles of striving and exhausting ourselves, of accomplishment and burnout, of progress and collapse. Sound familiar?
Will without enthusiasm is dry, hard and loveless, making our work joyless and dull, a drudgery at best, incredibly difficult at worst.
On the other hand, enthusiasm without any willpower can peter out, having us jump from project to project, never completing anything, having too many interests at once, always distracted by the next shiny object.
As a person who has always had a tremendously strong will and a lot of ambition and discipline, it was easy for me to overlook the important role these qualities play in being able to realize our dreams.
by Ian Schneider
You do need some willpower, especially when the thing you want to do (sing, write, make films. . . ) conjures up fear, past hurt, self-doubt.
Or when you have to take a step towards your dreams that is uncomfortable in order to make the time and energy to engage with your art, such as get up a half hour earlier or step out on a stage in front of an audience.
Or when you need to move past an addiction, such as staying up too late watching TV or reading Facebook compulsively or listening to the news before beginning to create in the morning (bad plan!).
Willpower alone will not get you over these hurdles, but you’ll need a little burst of it.
30 Seconds of Willpower to Realize Your Dreams
You need some will to overcome inertia, fear, bad habits, resistance. In most cases, you only need short bursts of will, 30 seconds at a time is enough. Just enough to overcome the temptation in front of you and get yourself into the studio or to bed on time so you’ll have energy to go into your studio the next day.
But you will need these short bursts daily.
If you think you don’t have any willpower, that is just an old lie you have told yourself. We all have inner strength.
by Jens Thekkeveettil
If it were a matter of life or death (which doing what you love is), you would find the motivation. If I told you that you would be dead in a week unless you create every day for an hour, you would move mountains to make it happen.
That is will, but it is deeper than the inner taskmaster (who is not your friend or ally). The will energy I’m talking about here draws on a love for your life, and that love is powerful.
Both willpower and enthusiasm come and go. But there is a shining link between those energies that lasts.
In my next post, I’ll share with you what that magic power is that is vital to reaching your dreams. I’ll also share what’s behind it that is the power that moves worlds.
Stay tuned!
To your dreams,
Maxima
P.S. If you would like expert soul support in creating a life of passion, purpose and deep play, sign up for coaching with me. Get 40% off my regular rate when you sign up in December 2017 (for new clients). Two steps you can take now:
1. Find out more about my coaching here.
2. Email me here to set up a free Discovery Session and explore if this is right for you now.
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My Deep Why
Last week I sent you a beautiful, inspiring, 10-minute exercise to discover your “deep why,” what you are here on earth for, what you’re all about.
This process is a way to tap your deep heart-knowing of what lights you up, inspires and moves you, what matters deeply to your heart and soul.
One student asked me: Why bother asking these questions? Why bother doing these exercises?
Because this is your guidestar to creating a deeply fulfilling, soulful life. A life that matters to you and makes a difference to others. A life of joy.
Practices like this one tune you into listening to your deep heart wisdom, your heartsong, so you can steer your life by that song. To me, nothing could be more important.
If you missed that post, you can read it here and try the exercise yourself. It’s fun and easy. It takes only 10 minutes. And it just may astound you!
Last week I promised to share with you what I got when I did the practice myself. Here it is, off the cuff, unedited: My deep why, what I’m here for.
I, Maxima, Am Here To. . .
I am here to write, to be creative, to celebrate and honor life, to care, to live from heart, to give and share.
I am here to have joy and spread joy, to love, to be playful and silly, to heal, to grow, to play, to be in wonder, to touch and be touched, to dwell in grace.
I am here to be an artist, to make beauty and magic, to dance, create, sing and make music, to imagine.
I am here to praise God, Goddess, Divine, One, and embody that, dance with that.
I am here to tend to the beauty of the world, to care for growing things, to walk the path of Heart, to walk in the footsteps of the Divine, to honor the Sacred in others and in all things and call it forth, to conduct ritual, ceremony, to be a leader, a healer, a magician, a teacher, a lover, a mystic, a muse.
I am here to give thanks for the creation and work to mend the tears and injustices. I am here to gather the divine sparks.
I am here with my love, my vulnerability, my heart, my spirit and spark and light and fire. I am here to not be ashamed, to love and be loved, to stand in the light and the darkness, to love it all.
I am here to listen to the wind and the ocean, the rocks, trees, birds, streams, animals, plants, to sing their songs.
I am here to elevate, to inspire, to make music, magic, art, song, to be one with the One, to come home, to belong, to help others belong. To believe, dream and reach for the stars.
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It’s empowering to know your Deep Why, to stand in it, to proclaim it and live it.
Share some of your Deep Why in the comments below. And/or share what comes up for you as you read this. Let’s inspire one another!
Why the Heck Am I Here?
In this post, I share a fun and inspiring practice to help you discover your “life purpose” by tapping into your own deep wisdom and intuitive knowing.
That way, you can live in alignment with that which brings you deepest meaning, joy and fulfillment in your life. Sound good?
Let’s begin.
I Am Here To
- Get a pen and paper. (Many studies have shown, writing long-hand is way more beneficial and powerful than typing on a computer. Writing by hand connects you to your heart and body wisdom in a way that typing on a keyboard cannot. If you are physically able to do so, I strongly recommend you do this practice by hand.)
- Set a timer for 10 minutes.
- Start with the words “I am here to.”
- Write everything and anything that comes to your mind in response to those words. Keep returning again and again to “I am here to” to begin many of your sentences.Some ways you may interpret the question include (but are not limited to):
• What are you here on earth for? Why did you come?
• What is your life purpose, your passion?
• What are your gifts?
• What do you love?
• What matters to you? What do you stand for?
• What can you give with joy? What do you already give?
• What do you want your life to be about? - Keep your pen moving as you write in response to the words. Don’t pause to think, plan, question or edit. Don’t worry whether what you are writing is accurate, true or complete. Don’t worry if it’s nonsense. Don’t worry if it’s terrible writing or great writing or whether you’ve wandered too far afield. Just write. Let it all flow out.
Write From Your Heart
Give yourself permission to be grandiose, to dream, imagine, play on the page. To say what you think you’re not allowed to say. To speak with authority and wisdom, humor and grace and heart. Resist the urge to belittle yourself, to say “I don’t know.” What if you did know?
If you have more to say than 10 minutes, keep going. If you think you have said everything before 10 minutes is up, keep going until the timer sounds, even if you have to repeat yourself. Let yourself be surprised by what else comes when you think you’ve said it all.
If there’s something you write that you find helpful or inspiring, you might want to post it where you can read it from time to time and remember why you are here.
I’d love to hear your responses to this practice. Post in the comments here.
Next week I’ll share some of what I wrote when I did this exercise.
To your shining being,
Maxima
To read more on the topic of “life purpose” and finding your unique brilliance, start here.
Hey, if what you read here inspires, helps or moves you, consider sharing it with others using the share buttons here.
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